Spongebob: Where's His Money?

For those that don't know, Spongebob is one of the craziest shows out there. Not only is it crazy, but it manages to hide quite a bit of adult humor under that layer of insanity. So if you haven't watched it, this whole entry probably isn't going to make a whole lot of sense, and really is just me rambling about a cartoon. But really, if you didn't come to see me ramble, then why exactly are you here?

A question I commonly ask myself when I watch the show is, "How does Spongebob make money?" A simple answer would be, "He works as a fry cook in a terrible dive, duh." But really, that doesn't answer the question at all.

First, let's look at Spongebob's standard of living. He owns his own home, completely furnished. We've seen him purchase expensive items on a whim, and he has one of the largest libraries I've ever seen in a private home.

I would say that's a pretty comfortable standard of living. And that takes money, lots of it. And with that, there are other facts to consider.

1. He's a fry cook. That's not exactly a high-paying gig.

2. He works for the cheapest person on the planet.

3. In many different episodes, it's shown that he's quite regularly cheated out of his paycheck by his boss (going so far as being charged for the privilige of working there at first), and yet does not seem the least bit troubled.

4. He perpetually attends a privately run boating school, which I imagine isn't free.

So, given these facts, how does he afford his lifestyle? Squidward attempts to sell his house a couple times, so we know that there's a real estate market, houses aren't free.

I think we need to look at the rarely seen parents so answer this question. They obviously have money, able to buy Spongebob a car when he sort of passed his driving exam, and do not seem to have regular jobs. One could say they're retired, but retired people generally don't have new car money laying around.

No, if you look at the facts, his parents are wealthy. Maybe they invented something and live off the kickbacks, maybe they come from old money. Maybe they're good on the stock market. Whatever it is, they have money to spare. They bought Spongebob his home and continue to give him money to persue his frivolous lifestyle. They supported and coddled him his whole life, which could even explain a lot of his personality quirks (possibly covered in a future post). This also would explain, beyond the annoyance factor, Squidward's seething hatred of Spongebob. Squidward has never had anything handed to him in his life, and struggles with his failures, and here is a perpetually happy person who's never had to work for anything in his life, that he has to deal with on a daily basis. Given all that, could you really blame him?

Imagine, you're struggling with your mortgage payment as your taxes just went up, and your neighbor smiles and says, "Wow, mortgage, what's that? I just bought a new 70-inch HDTV!"

I'd want to slap him too.

Zel-kun out.